The Official Community Of Nitin Sawhney

Yes Buga, a moderator who checked every posting before it went "live" would be very useful ..... by the way, did you find out why our illustrious Mr Sawhney has decided to desert us on Sept 1st? Has he got a better offer from elsewhere? If so, where!? We can only hope that he is planning a mega-tour in this country sometime soon, otherwise we will all be having withdrawal symptoms!!

Ah, yes - ironically (well, to me anyway!), as you were writing your post, I was posting one in the "Music" section - hot on the tail of yet another dodgy pharmaceutical spammer! Why do they bother Pawli??? I mean, everyone who visits this forum knows that if you want something to dull the senses and knock you out, you just need to read one of my posts!!!

Now, I kept my word and went to the QEH and snooped around a bit and, I think that we'll be ok. While most of the foyer is screened off by great swathes of polythene (found a small hole in it at floor level! I did attempt to peer through it, to see what was going on, but my curiosity was evidently beginning to unsettle the security guards, so I had to give up and try to act 'normal'...) Anyway, my findings were as follows:

Access to QEH and Purcell Room - OK!

Access to the Bar and Cafe/ terrace areas - OK!

Access to Loos (I was relieved to discover) - OK!

Access to Cloakroom appeared to be not OK, which was bit of a bummer for me as I'd hoped to be able to deposit my bags, placard and sneakers (they would've been thrilled to take possession of those, I'm sure!) so that I could scoot back outside and interact with the water sculpture!

So, I'm pleased to say that, the only place Mr. S. seems to have vanished from, is their online calendar - phew! As to other, future 'sightings', well there's the Jazz Cafe gigs and I'm sure that, in his last post, he mentioned a possible tour next year... and, ofcourse, though this isn't common knowledge but, he can also, occasionally, be found out and about, practising his street theatre routines - you weren't aware? - well, you know how you get all those mime artists, smothered in bodypaint and pretending to be statues? Obviously, that would be just too passe for our man, Nitin! No, creative genius that he is, apparently he's more into impersonating street furniture - it's true! You ask Danoush, he'll tell you - Nitin spent much of last week impersonating a bollard right in the centre of Newca-, New- er, um, er, north somewhere.......

Oh Hell! Pawli, you were right. Evidently your postman gets up a damned-sight earlier than mine as I've only just got the letter informing me that the concert has been..... CANCELLED!!!!! ......


.....WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! ..... (sniff, sniff).....

.....WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! .......

Sorry, I just had to express my dismay. I'll go off and console myself with a chocolate brownie, after I've amended my 'signature'. That should raise my ground-zero spirits for, ooh, all of a nano-second .....

Our Nitin ..... impersonating a bollard ..... in the middle of Newcastle !!! Tell me Buga, was this a musical bollard? Did it play the guitar, or keyboard? This sounds intriguing - tell me more!

Anyway, why were we not told about this beforehand - we could have taken a few days off work, arranged a short holiday in Newcastle, looked at the tourist attractions and appreciated all the architecture (including the bollards) at the same time.

Oh well .... maybe next time.

Bollard, park bench, bus shelter (something of a challenge that would defeat the average person but not Mr. Sawhney!), streetlight, parking meter - he's done the lot! Apparently it's a hobby that gripped him early in life when, as a child, he came across a book all about the history of street furniture in his local library, while searching for a copy of "Mime Made Easy". It had been placed, quite by mistake, on the shelf devoted to the performing arts, sandwiched between "How To Find Your Way To An Audition" and "What To Do When You Get There" but young Master Sawhney was quite unaware that it did not belong in that section. He plucked it from the shelf and flicked through pages crammed with everything from solid oak, mediaeval stocks to mid 20th century, wall-mounted chewing gum dispensers. Eyes wide with excitement, he scurried silently towards the librarian's desk, and thrust the book under the librarian's upturned nose.

"Token?" hissed the librarian.

"_____!"

"Language please! You know the rules - you must return one of the books you've already taken out."

"?"

"What about that one you found in the car maintenance section last week - "A Beginner's Guide To Quantum Mechanics" - something of an unusual choice for a six year old, I must say."

Reluctantly, young Nitin left the book at the library and hurried home. Unfortunately, by the time he had finished deliberating over which book to take back, the library had actually closed and, when he returned the following day, he discovered to his distress that the book about street furniture was nowhere to be found.

"_____!" he muttered, and was subsequently shown the door.

Stomp, stomp, stomp went Master Sawney, lashing out at a litterbin with an angry kick. Stomp, stomp stomp.

"____! ____! ________!!" And so saying, he paused to slam the door of a nearby phonebox ....

"_______!!!"

.... only to realise that the door was too heavy for him to open in the first place. Stomp, stomp, stomp went little Nitin, glaring at the pavement and shaking his fists at the curb. Stomp, stomp, THUD!!

Now, I'm not a religious woman, Pawli, and I'm equally sceptical when it comes to believing in fate but, I have to admit that I do wonder, was it really just a coincidence that he should knock himself out cold by walking straight towards a postbox, AND come to the amazing realisation, moments before he came round, that he did not NEED that book after all - He needed only to look up and around him, and take his inspiration from his surroundings!!!!!

And so that was, apparently, the beginning of his lifelong, though seldom referred to, passion for mimicking everyday urban fixtures. To begin with, he decided to focus on imitating small, simple objects, fooling and amusing many a passerby with his impersonation of a late Victorian boot-scraper. This was, infact his favourite object to mimic, until the day when one passerby actually paused and scraped something off the sole of his shoe and, let me tell you, it was not mud either! A few weeks later, around about the time when his Mum felt it was at last possible to close all of the windows and remove the noseclips, Nitin had the novel idea of posing as a lamp post. As he was a particularly bright little boy, he took into consideration (yes Nitin, spelt with only one 't' ... ) every possible dog-related hazard that could befall him and made a point of wearing wellingtons. It was a canny precaution to take, just a shame that he had not taken into account the neighbour's Great Dane.....

Anyway, it obviously didn't put him off and, as I've already mentioned, he 's still at it, even today, with his busy schedule. It's ironic too that, for someone who shuns publicity, he's pictured in more issues of "Hello" than all the other celeb's put together. Yes he is! If you can bring yourself to go near a copy and actually look at the pictures, pay particular attention to the details in the background ..... parking meter adjacent to celeb's parked car? .... Nitin. menu-board outside exclusive West End eatery? .... Nitin again!

And, as I'm sure Gemsie would be more than happy to confirm, Mr. S. does not restrict himself geographically-speaking, either! He has indeed been seen, masquerading as a bollard in Newcastle, although I don't know where on earth you got the idea that he plays music at the same time ..... seems like you're letting your imagination get the better of you, my dear!